Me- guess what i'm eating
Mark- carpet?

"I'm so pretty I make a blind lady's nipples hard." - ???

"Shit-talkers eat a fat dick." - Dan's (hed) pe shirt

"My daddy's gon' eat me." - Dan

"Damn farmer John on my face..." - Brandon

"Eek! He's gonna grape us!" - Me and Lauren

Me- "Guess who I just talked to." (Saying it really excited-like)
Nani-"My mom!! That's why youre so excited! Cuz you just talked to Dave Foley!!"
Me-"No...his name starts with 'D' and ends with 'aniel'."
Nani-"NO!! The name starts with 'D' and ends with 'ave Foley'!!!!!"

Jay Leno- "Who found the burning bush?"
Some dumb gay guy- "Uhh...I dont know, the firefighters?"

Chester- "MYBOOBS.COM!!!!!" [in reference to a commercial for 'mybobs.com']
Nani- "heh...I thought he said 'myboobs.com'."
Me- "He did."

"MOOSE IN THE POOOOOL!!" - Chester

"Yo, Peen, why you so wee? GET LARGE...Oh jeeze.." -Brandon

Brandon- Davney davney davney davney...
Me- What...Oh shit...did you?...awww...awww mannn...awwww!!

Brandon- Yo, RJ, Davney said she likes the shirt you made her.
RJ- What, 'your mom's ass'?
Brandon- Yeah...
RJ- Yeah, tell Davney I'm gonna stick it in her ass.

Brandon- RJ, Davney has no shirt on.
RJ- .....I have a boner....

"yooooohoooooodeehoooooo to mah chocolate beverage" -Steve [talking about his bottle of yoohoo]

"Weed and music makes like dick in pussy." -Mark

Me- "Oooooohh! Look at the big blue building!!"
Lauren- "That's Shea Stadium, idiot."

Tallulah- well now they have time to make the baby they have always wanted
Lauren- lol, yeah, i wonder what it will look like, its going to have big spikes in its hair, and its first words are goin to be "sup homie"
Tallulah- or....."rape me rape me"
Lauren- yes.....rape me rape me lol
Tallulah- poor little bastard

"Sodontae..." - Brandon

"Yeah well, you knowww, that's alright bebe." - Brandon

"Yo, if that niggah kisses that monkey, i swear to god, i'm gonna fuckin kick him in his monkey lovin balls." - Me at Planet of the Apes

"Planet of the Apes: one big multispecies orgy." - Lauren

"WE CAN'T GO TO OUR CHUNKETT BECAUSE OF DEESE ASSCHOLE? DEES EES BULLCHEET!" - Me and Nani

::drinking milk...spitting it out:: "It was a black maaaaannn." - Nani and Me

"Woah...I want corn poopie!" - Sean

"Lets buy candy...OOh, no, i choke on anything that's hard." - Me

"Here Crack-Baby, go to your Crack-Mommy." - Ilana (while handing me her kitten)

Me-"I'm gonna rip out my uterus."
Nani- "So i'll bring you some mayonnaise!"

"She's like the little ugly weeble that no one wanted to play with."- me

"Looooooooooser rhymes with boooooooooooooozer..."- Tallulah

"Sean has sex with babies." - Josh

"Uh ohhhh....Davney? I'm leaking."- Sam

"Ehhh...Don't Float..."- Me (ripped as hell)

"He's just after my turbo twat!!"- Me & Brett

" HEY GUYS!! YEAH! WHAT'S UPPP?? AIIIGHT!!! I LIKE THE HAT!!!! YEEEAAAH!!"- Me


This is from slutsandfunnelcakes.com:

Christina Aguilera is a disgusting woman.. excuse me.. girl.. shes gross.. holy crap, look at her. what a stinkpile of gooey mess. You know when your at the doctors office in the waiting room, and you see that UGLY UGLY baby staring at you from across the room? You know, how the mother knows its staring, but doesnt care. You pretend to not notice, then you notice, and pretend to not care. Then you just want to punch it in its little fat chubby head? Well yea, christina aguilera is like that little baby.. a benign tumor on society. just like ugly babies. some babies are so ugly they shouldn't exist...


"buuuuuhitch!!"-alix

"suck my back."- steve

"oh yeah? well i ain't payin yo' 48 cents!!"-mike

"ooh! ooh! the p*ssy's crying!!!"-me

"oh god, that smells like rotten hotdogs and frenchfries." -me

"no..no. that was funny for like, two seconds...but no. no." - me

"well, that pretty much blows donkey's for quarters."- brandon

"love, peace and chicken grease."- R.J.

"it's shnizzle mah nizzle." -snoop dogggggg, and steven

"Youre my little blueberry muffin." -STEVIE WOO (aka, steven, Piump Dadday...)

"Take care, brush yo' hair" - Me
tallulah-"whhhhiissshhhhhhhh (gasp) whiiiiissshhhh"
me-"what are you doing??"
tallulah-"whhhhissshhhhh (gasp) i'm a whale."

lee-"are you anorexic?"
me-"yeah..."
lee-"you are? well, i'm bulimic."
me-"really? well...when you put us together, you get one skinny mofo."
(oh, we're kidding bout that...we eat like dinosaurs....how do dinosaurs eat?)